In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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