how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
