Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
