I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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