Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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