i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i came on her dog
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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