I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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