they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
