allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
