You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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