I can tuck mytits in my pants
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
