Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
