Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
