You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
