i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
