this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
