I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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