I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
