What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
