His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
