Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She announced her abortion via fbk
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
