Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
