im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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