used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
