didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
