Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize