ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
