Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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