Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
