Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
