i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
