whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize