First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
