before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
