Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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