I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't think brook has ever known best
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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