Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
