I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
