home. puking in laundry basket.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize