But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
