I just made out with a guy for $7.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
