YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
