I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
