i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
