I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
