and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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