forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
