Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
