Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
