I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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