Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
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