hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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