Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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