youre lurking in front of me
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize