he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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