DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
