I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
