Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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