you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
