I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
