pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
did i walk over a car last night?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
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