...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Please don't give away my fajitas
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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