did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize