so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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