I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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