just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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