he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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