It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize