You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
