Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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