I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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