I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Randomize
