I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
