she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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