pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
